Grant Trebilco on how surfing helped him ‘free the funk’.
Raised in the beautiful beach town of Mount Maunganui, New Zealand, Grant Trebilco grew up in and around the water but it wasn’t until he was diagnosed with bipolar in 2012 that he understood the impact the ocean could have on his life, and others.
“I was a happy, active kid and spent my childhood playing rugby and surfing with my family and my mates. I had my ups and downs, but I honestly had no idea what mental health was because it wasn’t talked about back then. I just thought you were meant to be happy all of the time, but I found out later in life that’s just not possible.”
A self-professed perfectionist, Grant always assumed his high expectations of himself in adulthood were completely normal. Until they weren’t. After being misdiagnosed with depression and then experiencing his first manic episode in 2012, Grant came to learn that his anxiety was part of something bigger.
Grant speaks to us about his diagnosis, how surfing has helped him to “free the funk” and what changes he hopes to see in the mental health space.
BC: In 2012, you were hospitalised and diagnosed with bipolar. Had you known prior to this episode that you were experiencing mental illness?
GT: I don’t remember suffering any big mental health challenges as a kid. I’ve always been a really sensitive dude and worried a lot about what people think so I definitely think that caused a bit of anxiety, but I was always so busy playing sports and hanging out with my mates. It was probably in my early 20’s when I first started showing signs of anxiety and depression, but it wasn’t until my early 30’s when I really started struggling.
I started sweating the small stuff a lot at work and would go from high to low really quick. Things like thinking I had stuffed up a presentation and then pretending I was sick the next day because I was suffering such bad anxiety from it.
The first time I reached out for help, I saw a psychologist and was diagnosed with perfectionism but wasn’t put on any medication. After this, I was in the States for a work trip and I think that was my first really big anxiety attack, combined with mania, and it was so heavy. It started with this weird feeling in my chest, then my throat and then it felt like everywhere I went, everything I did, people were staring at me and judging me. My self doubt went through the roof, it was so hectic.
I got back to Australia and my mum and dad came over from New Zealand and took me to see a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with depression but did not want to be put on medication because I thought it was a weakness. Six weeks later, my whole view on medication for mental health changed dramatically because it helped me get the stoke back and start to feel things again.
“It helped me to go and do the things I loved doing - like surfing, because when you have depression you don’t really feel anything and you have no energy to go and do the things that make you happy.”
Unfortunately the stoke didn’t last long as I had actually been misdiagnosed. It was now 2012, I was doing the marketing for a tequila company and we were throwing some parties during the Aus Surf Open in Manly. No one knew that just a few months earlier I had been diagnosed with depression and was taking antidepressants. I was honestly feeling the best I had felt in so long, but the antidepressants combined with a big week of partying sent me too high and I had my first manic episode that weekend.
That was the shittest feeling ever - firstly because I had struggled for so long and finally felt like everything was coming together and secondly, I woke up in the mental health health ward of Manly Hospital and very quickly went from the highest high to the lowest low.
They tried me on a bunch of different medications in hospital but they sucked the life out of me. It took me a long time to find a doctor that really understood me. She is more like minded; she surfs and really gets it and has honestly changed my life. I now take two different medications that help me to find the balance of living with bipolar. I still have ups and downs and bipolar is something I will have to manage all my life, but I have definitely got the stoke back!
Everyone has a different recipe for taking care of their mental health. Some of us need medication as part of that recipe and the first medication might not always be the right one. The first one I had wasn't right for managing my bipolar, but the medication I’m on now helps so much more and I haven’t had a big manic episode for nine years now.
“Finding a good doctor is kinda like a relationship, sometimes you find the right one straight up, but sometimes it takes a while to lock in a good one. The key thing to remember is that everyone is different, so don't give up until you find the right one for you.”
BC: How was mental illness spoken about in your family?
GT: My family are super open and supportive but mental health just wasn’t talked about then as openly as it is now. I didn’t realise it until I was 31, but my Dad was actually diagnosed with bipolar 10 years before me. Dad is the biggest legend and was so open about having bipolar once I was diagnosed, I would chat to him in the surf about how he lived a good life with bipolar. Dad and I are best mates and super similar, always happy and having a laugh. Being able to speak about the ups and downs we both go through helps big time. Seeing that he could live a good life with bipolar has helped me so much.
Mum and Dad encouraged me to get help when I was first struggling - but I said I would be all good and thought I could fix it myself. Looking back, I wish I had listened to them and gotten help earlier, because then maybe I could have avoided ending up in hospital. But that's the thing with mental health, most of us leave it until we are at breaking point before we seek help.
One of the key things I've learned is that wellness is everyday - if you can do at least one thing every day to free the funk and take care of your mental health, it can honestly change your life.
BC: After the diagnosis, you launched OneWave, a not-for-profit surf community that you describe as “saltwater therapy”. How has this community helped you with your own personal struggles?
GT: The OneWave community has been a game changer for helping me with my personal struggles. The whole concept was that I wanted to raise awareness of mental health through the simple recipe of saltwater therapy, surfing and fluro.
Since launching in March 2013, OneWave has created a global impact, raising awareness and reducing social stigmas around mental health issues through our Fluro Friday Sessions. Fluro Fridays started at Bondi Beach and consist of surfing, free yoga and an “anti-bad vibes circle” allowing people to share stories in a safer environment. Wearing bright colours makes people happy and helps start conversations about an invisible issue.
Fluro Fridays have since gone viral, with sessions held at more than 200 beaches globally, from New Zealand to Norway. In 2018, I was so blown away to have the Duke and Duchess of Sussex (Harry and Meghan) join the anti-bad vibe circle in colourful leis.
I think if you can combine riding waves and having a chat with your mates, it can change your life. Having a good community around you week in week out helps big time, especially when we are all dressed in the brightest outfits and going fluro surfing for mental health. We have been so lucky to have so many good people around the world who are passionate about raising awareness of mental health through surfing.
Focusing on helping others has also had such a massive impact on my mental health. It made me focus less on regretting what had happened in the past and more on what we could do to help more people get their stoke back, right now.
BC: Outside of OneWave, what else helps your mental health on a daily basis?
GT: I still have my ups and downs and am still learning things on the daily to help me take better care of my mental health. Some of the key parts of my ‘free the funk’ recipe are surfing, exercise, good people, knowing it's ok not to be ok, talking it out and check ups from the neck up. I think a big thing for me is realising that life is awesome, but fuck it’s really hard sometimes too.
“If you can tell just one person how you’re really feeling, that can help a lot - because the worst place to be when you’re struggling with your mental health is stuck inside your own head.”
Me and my mates have the thing going lately - ‘Win the morning, win the day’. Getting up early and going for a sunrise surf/swim or doing any kind of exercise then grabbing a coffee with mates is a game changer for me. It helps me ‘free the funk’ before I start work and anything that happens that day is a whole lot easier to deal with.
We all have a different version of what works so make sure you do you! Whether it's music, dancing, meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, ice baths, running...whatever helps you feel good, make time for it every day.
BC: What change do you hope to see in the mental health space?
GT: I would love to see a world where we all can talk about mental health like we do physical health. Where people can open up about how they are really feeling without the fear of being judged. Where people can easily access good professional support quickly and cheaply. Where there are good mental health specialists at every local GP or medical centre. Where every school has a mental health professional in the team. Where all schools and workplaces have preventative mental health programs. Where everyone has the chance to ride waves and talk about mental health without being judged. A world where we don’t lose so many good people.
BC: What does happiness mean to you?
Growing up, I didn't understand what mental health was and I truly thought that happiness meant being happy 100% of the time. I’ve learned that to really appreciate what happiness feels like, you have to experience what sadness feels like.
Happiness for me now is riding waves and having a chat with my mates, hanging with family and friends, fluro surfing with the OneWave community, helping others get their stoke back and morning coffees with the crew.
Interview by Bonny Co. | Images supplied | Connect @onewaveisallittakes @granttrebilco