Chris Barnes on growing up in the Navy and learning to speak up.

Exercise has long been a part of Chris Barnes’ life, though he didn’t realise the significance it had on his mental health until much later on. A member of the Royal Australian Navy for many years, ‘Barnesy’, is now the proud owner of F45 Surry Hills and the Athletic Director for F45 Australia: “I was a bit of a ratbag in my younger years and gave my mum constant grief. School didn’t really work for me, although I had great sporting talents and was in every sports team I could be in - I spent my youth with a football in my hand or some sort of aqua sports equipment close by. My desire for sport and health lead me to the fitness industry where I’ve dedicated more than half my life to helping others”.

He grew up in a military environment, his own father a 20 year veteran, which paved the way for both Barnesy and his brother to join: “Our favourite family times involved celebrating Christmas or special events at the military base. All the sailors would be present with their kids and the base would go above and beyond to make the occasion special. Although my dad was away a lot, the excitement of him coming home was like nothing else, I still remember we would always go for a milkshake whenever he returned.  

I joined the Navy just after my 16th birthday with strong support from my family - though deep down I don’t think they were ready for me to leave home. 

I wasn’t doing well in school academically and instantly excelled in the military, so it was clear to me that my decision was right. I was still only 16 years old after basic training and was deployed to my 1st warship, bound for South East Asia. I quickly experienced the hierarchy of working within a team of grown men; at the start of this journey, it was a little rough and there was a bit of intimidation but only ever in a way I believe helped me be a stronger man.”

A single father and a business owner, Barnesy speaks to us about growing up in the Navy, co-parenting, navigating business through a pandemic and how he learned to speak up in times of need.

BC: You were in the Navy for 12 years, what were some of the most challenging aspects of that time?

Joining the Navy so young was definitely a challenge. I clearly remember one of my first experiences - learning how to shave, despite not having a drop of hair on my face or body.

“I spent a lot of time during these early years of my career very self conscious as I was a boy in a man's world.”

I was fortunate enough to travel the world, meet some fantastic people and serve my country, including in war-like situations. However, I am extremely grateful that the tasks I was involved in were not regarded as ‘battle’. As proud as I am to be a serving member in the Royal Australian Navy, unfortunately there were sad and horrific events that have stayed with me to this day, including witnessing an Australian fighter jet crash into a mountain which occurred during a training exercise off Malaysia. I was involved in the recovery of those pilots, literally hands on, and that's not the worst of what I saw or experienced.

BC: You separated from your wife in 2020 and now co-parent your two beautiful children. How did that experience impact you and what did you learn from it? 

CB: I’m not a public person so it was a pretty weird time for me. Our separation made it to the Sydney gossip pages and it made me want to hide under a rock. I’m super grateful for the people I have around me, my work family especially. My employers at F45 HQ and my business partner at F45 Surry Hills both just told me to do what I needed to do to make life work, allowing me to have reduced work hours every second week so I can be the best dad possible. My ex-wife and I agreed to share our babies one week on / one week off and having that time for them allows me to be present, which is extremely important to me. We have a good relationship and share a lot of time together with our kids. We’re still a family and both only want the best for them. We show them that no matter what we love them more than anything else.

BC: With such a busy schedule, as a hands-on dad, co-owner of F45 Surry Hills and Athletic Director of F45 Australia, what do you do for self-care?

CB: My self-care largely comes from being with my kids. I'm quite active and they love being little adventurers too. Seeing them smile, learn and grow is the most satisfying feeling any parent could have.

“I remember being in the Navy, often sitting solo and staring out to sea - just being at peace with myelf and the surroundings.”

I didn’t get it at the time but I believe I was in a place of healing. I do the same thing most days now and leave feeling energised and happy.

BC: Australia is now into our second year of Covid 19 impacting us all, however gyms especially have been affected greatly. What has this pandemic meant for your business and more importantly, your own mental wellbeing?

CB: This second major lockdown [June 2021 - to the time of writing this in September 2021] has really been challenging. I have always been in the health and wellness trade and like most of us long term professionals, we seriously care about other people. Not being able to physically assist someone and communicate with them on the level they need is really deflating. A big part of our job is to absorb the negatives from our clients and then give them back an uplifting, positive experience so when they return back to their normal life, they do so feeling good about themselves. 

I do have concern for the survival of my studio and it's not just about the loss of income, it's the disconnection that comes from not seeing so many people who have trusted our studio with their health goals. It's weird to think just two years ago, F45 Surry Hills was presented to the F45 network as one of the Top four F45 studios in the world - now we are potentially, going to be forced to close.

BC: Reflecting on your life so far, what have been the greatest lessons you’ve learned?

CB: I think most importantly, it’s been to speak up. I always felt I didn’t want to be a burden on others, so I never spoke about what affected me, especially if it was a negative issue. I’ve learned that by not doing so, I’m not helping anyone - especially myself.

BC: What kind of role has therapy played in your life?

CB: I have this friend - and I say ‘have’ because I know she is always with me despite physically having left this world - who first helped me when it was clear I was going through a rough time.

“She showed me why I needed to learn to speak up, she showed me I was a far better person than the person I thought I was.”

She literally held my hand and walked me into my first counselling session. I can still hear her voice in my head; she spoke so wisely to me. I used to think therapy was for those who had addiction issues or for my mates suffering from PTSD after service time - but I’ve realised it’s not just reserved for them. It’s for all of us.

Exercise for me, without realising it for years, has also played a large role in my life, physically and mentally.

I always knew after exercise or playing a competitive sport that I felt amazing. When I was involved in some sort of competitive environment, regardless of where I placed, the feeling of completing such a gruelling challenge was quite overwhelming but so fulfilling.

I used to compete regularly in triathlons and iron mans but just before I separated, I chose to stop as I just had no challenge, no drive and I’d say, it's where my mental strength became its weakest.  Exercise was hard, being healthy was hard. Thankfully, I had a light bulb moment, I was driving past the local Jujitsu studio and I noticed the lights with a class in full flight. I went into the studio and met the professor. I knew straight away this was my next challenge and where I’d be spending a lot of time each week. It helps me to think clearly and to continue to push myself physically and mentally.

BC: What does happiness mean to you?

CB: Happiness to me is typically a place where my kids, family or friends are present - all at once would be amazing but those days never seem to align. It would probably involve exercise or adventure or working the floor of my F45 studio being an absolute goose with my business partner. Happiness is also relaxing at home, solo barbecuing a cattleman steak and sleeping in until midday. In both scenarios, there will always be exercise, a beach and my babies close by.

Editor’s note: F45 Surry Hills is back open for business, in line with the NSW Public Health Order, and if you’re looking for a new gym with excellent trainers who care about your physical and mental health, we highly recommend Barnesy and his team.

Interview by Bonny Co. | Images Tane Coffin | Connect @chrisbarnesf45